Resources for Family and Friends

It is important to become familiar with the signs and symptoms of perinatal mental health

disorders, as you may be the first to recognize them and can provide help and encourage them to find professional support. Some of the most common symptoms include:

• Feelings of anger, irritability, and/or rage
• Lack of interest in the baby
• Disturbances of sleep and appetite
• Crying and sadness
• Feelings of guilt, shame, or hopelessness
• Loss of interest, joy, or pleasure in things that used to be enjoyable
• Possible thoughts of harming the baby or oneself

• Develop a support team for your family. Ask for help.
• Take time for yourself.
• Talk to other families or individuals who have gone through this experience.
• Encourage the new parents to spend time with the baby to develop their confidence.
• Encouraging them to get help from a professional.
• Helping them find a support group and local resources.
• Spending time listening without needing to offer solutions or advice.
• Looking after the baby or older children, or discussing other childcare options, so they can have a break.
• Helping complete everyday tasks like cooking and cleaning without expecting anything in return.
• Encouraging them to take care of their bodies by eating, resting, walking, and limiting alcohol use.

It is not uncommon for new parents to experience strong emotions during pregnancy or in the year following birth. Although there is no one specific cause for pregnancy-related depression and anxiety, there are hormonal changes, social and physical changes, and other risk factors that can manifest in feelings of anger, irritability, and/or rage. Here are some tips to help deal with these emotions while you support the new parent(s).

• Low blood sugar can result in low energy, irritability, and frustration. Help ensure new parents eat regularly and have healthy, filling, and easy snacks on hand.
• Do your best to listen for the real request at the heart of their frustration. Reduce conflict by telling them, “I know we can work this out. I am listening.”
• Keep the lines of communication open. Verbalize your feelings instead of distancing yourself from them. It is helpful to take a break if your tempers are hot, but do get back to communicating.
• If they are expressing anger in such a way that you can’t stay supportive, you might say something like, “I want to listen to you. I know this is important, but I’m having a hard time because you’re so mad at me. Can we take a break and talk about it later?”
• Ask them how you can help right now. If they don’t know, make some suggestions.