Resources for New Parents

1. It’s okay to ask for help and accept it when offered.
2. Be flexible with your birth plan. Sometimes things don't go as planned. If you are struggling with disappointment around your birth experience, talking with your healthcare provider or another mom could help.
3. After-delivery experiences vary for every mom. Be gentle with yourself and remember that your experience is unique. Take things day by day and reach out to a health care provider if things feel overwhelming.
4. Make finding mommy friends a PRIORITY. Build your support system by talking with other new parents and really lean on the people who are offering to help.
5. Remember self-care. Moms need to take care of themselves first to take care of their babies' needs.
6. Remember that this stage is temporary and will change. You will grow as a new mom and feel more settled in this new role as time goes on.
7. Find a way to get several uninterrupted hours of sleep, at least every couple of days. Talk with your partner, friends, and doctor about how to do this in a way you are comfortable with.
8. Create a sleep routine before bedtime that will help your body relax. For example, soft music, warm tea, meditation, etc.
9. Create some daily routines that help you and your baby adjust to this new transition. That being said, it’s okay if the schedule doesn’t go according to plan. You’re all learning together.
10. Have realistic expectations of yourself and your baby. – It might feel as though you're sometimes taking one step forward and two steps back. For example, the baby starts sleeping six hours straight for several nights, but then starts waking up every two hours. This is not a failure on your part; this is normal baby behavior.
11. Adopt a mantra. – “Control what you can and forget the rest” – “You are going to get through this” – “I am a great Mama.” – “I’m ok and my baby is ok” – “One day at a time” – “I am a strong woman. I made a baby!”
12. Be aware of your social media and phone use. – Social media is a great way to connect with others, but it can also lead to comparison or being fearful of bad things happening. Be mindful of how social media impacts you, and if it is negative, consider limiting it.
13. Be kind to yourself. – Treat yourself the way you would treat a dear friend. What would you say to your friend who is going through the same things you are?
14. Take in the good. – Celebrate the small victories (“I showered today!”) and create a gratitude list to help your mind focus on the good.
15. Rethink anxiety – Your anxiety does not define you. Think of it as being outside of yourself and something for which there are resources available to help you with.
16. Get Outside. – Get fresh air every day if you can, even if it is for a few minutes. A change in scenery can be helpful. If this seems like it’s just too much, that is an indication that you need to ask for help from a healthcare provider so that you feel better.
17. Allow yourself to feel the “feels.” – It’s ok to cry, to feel overwhelmed, to feel sad, to grieve what things were and how different things are now. It’s okay to not be okay. Just make sure you are also reaching out for help. Call a friend, a counselor, or a doctor if the “feels” get overwhelming.

• Finding a supportive network: Connecting with other expecting parents allows you to share your concerns. You’ll learn from people who know what you’re experiencing. Call your local hospital and ask if they can recommend a support group or other resources.
• Making health a priority: Get plenty of exercise during pregnancy. Focus on good nutrition, take prenatal vitamins, and try to get enough sleep. Quit smoking and avoid alcohol, since these are dangerous for both you and the developing fetus. Drinking alcohol while pregnant can cause fetal alcohol syndrome. Better physical health often goes hand-in-hand with improved mental health.
• Preparing for your baby: Keep up with your appointments for prenatal care. Learn about fetal growth and milestones, and take time to get ready for your baby’s arrival. You’ll feel better knowing you’re prepared for childbirth and beyond.
• Staying active: Make it a point to spend time with friends or go out with your partner. Interacting with others and getting out of the house can have a major impact on your mood.
• Try meditation: If you’re feeling lots of stress or anxiety, try yoga, meditation, and breathing exercises. There is a connection between stress management and emotional health. Learning some relaxation techniques can help you feel better.

The Office on Women's Health developed a guide to help you prepare to talk to a healthcare professional about pregnancy-related depression and anxiety. Suggestions to make the most of your appointment include writing down all the questions you have, creating a list of any medications you might be taking, considering bringing a friend or relative, and being honest about how you have been feeling. Access the guide here